From a young age, I felt like there was something wrong with me. At school I struggled to learn and regardless of how hard I tried, the school system simply didn’t agree with me. It brought out the worst in me and made me feel dumb. For years I felt like an underachiever. On my report card and at parent/teacher meetings, the one recurring comment that would be repeated by my teachers over and over was: it’s like she’s off with the fairies, she always seems to be daydreaming, I don’t feel she’s listening…
I wasn’t off with the fairies. I simply felt like in class they were speaking another language. One that everyone else seemed to understand except for me.
Years later, I found myself in office jobs that made me feel like I was going against the grain. They gave me comfort and security, but on the inside I felt like I was kicking and screaming in a desperate plea to get out. It was as though they were sucking the life out of me.
It took me a long time to understand why I always struggled with conformity and why I felt for years as though there was something wrong with me. During that period of my life, I knew I was off track, but couldn’t find the leads to steer myself where I needed to be. It was a series of unexpected coincidences that eventually lit my way and when it happened, it was though suddenly everything made perfect sense.
If you’re anything like me, you need variety, you get bored easily, you struggle with routine. Even when it comes to creative pursuits, you need different things to stimulate you, otherwise things take on a dull muteness to them and become a little lack lustre. The more stimulated you are with the variety of projects or opportunities that present themselves your way, the more you thrive.
The more I tried to force myself into a set structure and routine, the more disappointed and disheartened I became. When I finally realised that I didn’t have to follow the herd and could do things my way, I found my path.
I hope you never struggle with routine and are always chasing what you love…
Happy Travels, Paula x