Our creative pursuits are typically the areas of our lives that we seldom expose or share with others, particularly when we are at the very beginning of our new venture. We’re reluctant to open up and reveal ourselves for fear of being judged, criticised or told to stick to our day job. The process of steeping out can be a terrifying one. The option of retreating often hovers over us like a safety rope, there for us to reach out and grasp at a moments notice and instantly pull us out of our delusional silly pursuits…
church bells, Patmos…
I’ve been there. I took hold of that rope and half pulled myself out of my apparent delusional state. Lucky for me, I failed to pull myself all the way out. It seems fate had other plans…
When we get scared, we scramble. We get foggy in our direction. We lose our way. It doesn’t take much to trigger that fear. Our heart might be saying one thing, but the state of our mind is powerful enough to override our emotional sense and we turn a blind eye to chasing our new pursuits. We begin to allow self doubt to convince us that what no longer serves us is as good as we’re going to get. We lose sight of the way ahead.
sunset, patmos
Although it didn’t feel like it at the time, I was lucky enough not to stay in this state of uncertainty for very long. Not only were my options very limiting, but to top it off, I was dealing with a bruised ego after sheepishly cowering back to my ex-partner wanting to resume a relationship that we’d ended almost 12 months earlier, only to find out he’d already moved on…
Some of the most fateful doors of my past had managed to force themselves permanently shut. Whether I liked it or not, the plans I had originally intended to start were staring at me in the face, demanding we get this show on the road…
mediterranean light, patmos
Being rattled with such intensity, forced me to jump into action. I became the most uncomfortable I’d ever been in my life. I completely launched myself into the deep end of new beginnings and desperately started treading water. I faced more questions than answers, but despite the noise and despite the resistance to opt for the safety rope, I couldn’t ignore some simple truths. I knew I had found deep in my heart what truly made me happy and there was no way I could turn my back on the level of thrill that happiness filled me with.
Regardless of where we’re at with our plans, the greatest barometer to measure whether or not you’re on track is through quietly checking in with yourself. If your plans have you jumping out of your skin with ferocious excitement, then that’s all the proof you need to keep going. The minute you feel a kind of deflation or you’re void of happiness, then perhaps it’s time to reconfigure the original details.
door entrance, patmos
The difference between being conflicted with fear or no longer feeling inspired is simple. Your fear is the emotion reinforcing your new plans are the path you should be on. Feeling uninspired on the other hand suggests that the new plans weren’t strong enough to hold your interest in the first place. It’s up to you to decide how honest you wish to be with yourself and follow what genuinely feels right…
Happy travels…Paula x
Thank you, Paula, it sounds great in my heart….💥
Veronique, by the sea …. in Italia
Such a pleasure gorgeous lady..I am picturing you in Italia, by the sea…so idyllic and romantic..By far one of my favourite countries. I have travelled there often and it has a very special place in my heart. So touched to read that this post impacted you. Thank You X