So, here’s the thing…
Sometimes we might take the long way round to connecting with our True Path. We discover what we love, but are reluctant to consider it as a career because we’re usually steered toward the more conventional options…Some of us may be lucky enough to take a risk and pursue what makes us truly happy, others never quite make it there.
The very first time I realised I could make a living doing what I loved, it was as though I had just experienced this brilliant light-bulb moment…I could feel and envision what that future might look like. I remember having conversations with friends about it and telling them in detail, exactly what I would be doing as my future self.
It took me a little while to get there (15 years in fact) but, thankfully, our Passion and our True Path never leave us. Regardless of how long it takes us to find it again.
I knew for a long time I wanted to write. I was completely enamoured about everything to do with the Writing Practice. From the application of it – perusing specialty paper and pen shops, to absorbing the works of great writers and getting lost in bookshops for hours. I had found what I knew brought me the deepest level of happiness.
It’s taken me a long time to recognise that this practice has been one of my greatest teachers.
There is nothing quite like the Writing Practice to surface long held beliefs about yourself and make you confront them face-on.
It wasn’t something I ever anticipated could be triggered by a creative outlet and for a long time, I was intimidated by it. I fought hard against it. I struggled to approach my writing because it surfaced everything I didn’t like about myself. Sitting down to write revealed all my flaws and there was nothing I could do to escape it.
What were those flaws? Everything from not being good enough, judging the quality of my work, being scared to make a mistake, comparing myself to others, feeling completely incompetent, the list goes on…But really, the bottom line, what disappointed me most, was that I was experiencing all those things with something that I truly loved and something that I never thought would let me down in that way.
But those things, as awful as it felt experiencing them, they were not there to do me harm or to inhibit me from my writing. They were there to reveal a huge lesson about who I am and the way I valued myself. Those feelings were there to challenge me. To push me, to show me that if I wanted to completely give all of myself to this practice, then I had to move through those walls and recognise the truth behind what they were trying to reveal.
I was being shown what little value and trust I had in myself, how these fears or feelings were not something that I experienced in my writing alone. The process with my writing was a metaphor in reflecting how I was approaching all the other areas of my life. That this Fear, Self Doubt and lack of Confidence was a reflection of how I regarded Me.
I’m incredibly grateful to have the Writing Practice act like my mirror. To show me where I’m stalling, what’s holding me back and the steps I need to take to move through it.
It’s been a long process of discovery and it never ends. I feel far more at ease than what I ever have with my Writing Practice, but there’s always more work to do. The minute we stop doing the work, we stop learning the lessons…It’s been one of the richest and most rewarding experiences in showing me how to be more acknowledging of what these experiences are presenting and the value in the lessons that are there to be learned.
Going through a rough patch with your Writing…? Email Me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Happy travels…Paula x